Steve Ignorant

Since The Last Supper gig in London things have been pretty quiet for me, there hasn't been much going on to tell you about and I didn't want to ramble away on here just for the sake of it.

I think maybe I wasn't expecting the comedown to be as big as it was, but then for eighteen months of constant work to suddenly be over, it would be a lie to say that it didn't affect me. This isn't a sob story looking for pity, don't worry, I'm just trying to explain the long silence. One minute you're out there, travelling all over the place, meeting hundreds of people every day and night, and the next you're on your own in your local with a pint of europiss listening to Chris Rea driving home for christmas. The phone goes quiet, there's no interviews at silly times of the night and at first it's like a holiday, not having to pack and say goodbye to your home. And then a few weeks later you realise you're saying to people: when I used to... and it brings it home that it's over, done with. Self doubt slips in and your confidence goes and you find you can't think of anything to say or write without scrutinising it and then dumping it because it's crap. The worst moment is when you look along the bar at the others and think: I'm just one of them now. That gave me a boot up the arse. The night that happened I came home, opened the bottle of wine I knew Jona had stashed away for when visitors come, put the headphones on and played Stratford Mercenaries and Schwartzeneggar. And I realised that some of those songs aint bad, some could work as acoustic versions...hmm, that's got me thinking...

On a different note, a few weeks ago the Caister Independent Lifeboat crew payed us a visit as they wanted to see if they could use a trailer like ours to launch their small boat from it. They very kindly invited us to take a trip from Caister to here on their larger boat and we jumped at the chance. On that morning they had to perform the spreading of two peoples' ashes and it was great to see it done with dignity and sympathy. It's something we've done on our boat many a time and it's always done as caringly as possible. Then we set off for Sea Palling. Man, that boat can move. It just cuts through the waves like anything and you hardly feel it. A great way to spend a Sunday morning. Thanks Caister for the opportunity.

Still on lifeboats for a minute - well I am involved - we take possession of our new lifeboat in a couple of weeks time. Our old boat met with an accident so we had to salvage what we could from it and get a new one built. Fortunately we're off service during winter so it hasn't meant we've missed any shouts, but we go back on service very soon so that means we've been working really intensively on chartwork, first aid and stuff in readiness. Once the new boat gets here it's going to be full on getting used to it and practice practice practice out at sea.

Also in June there will be a naming ceremony where a Bishop comes down and blesses the boat (it's called Lionheart) and there's a church service, yeah I know you don't have to tell me, we're also having an open day at the boatshed, and in the evening there's a 'do' at the pub. Clarkey asked me if I'd think about doing something, and yeah, Im going to. I'm planning to do a spoken word thing that'll last 30 to 40 minutes, Carol and Pete have agreed to back me, so that's what I'm working on at the moment. I don't know if anyone's interested but hopefully it'll be entertaining and there is a band playing as well, you know the usual keep everyone happy sort of thing but apparently they've got a great brass section. It's free to get in but donations would be welcome. I'm not giving the date yet as I don't want people booking flights and christ knows what, it's going to be a very small local thing but if anyone thinks they can make it you'd be welcome. Let me see what the response is and I'll give more details. I'm not teasing, it's just the way it has to be done for the moment.

Right, I'm off down the pub and think up some things to say. It's good to be doing something like this again, good to have something to talk with you all about. Till soon, Steve.

Thank you everybody for your kind words of sympathy and support. I haven't been able to write to you individually for the past couple of days due to travelling home, exhaustion and jet lag. Please don't be offended, please keep sending comments and I promise I'll be back on it in a couple of days.

For those of you that don't know, we were rolling into Baltimore when Jona and I received the dreadful news that our darling dog Oscar had died. She was an English Bull Terrier and we'd been together for thirteen years, which is pretty good going considering the average life span is nine to eleven years - and she'd had a heart murmer all her life. She was staying with our friends Nicky, Gordon and Alice, whom she loved being with. when she went.

The strange thing is that before we went on tour, Nicky, Gordon and Alice came over, I talked to them about what to do in the unlikely event if Oscar died as she wasn't getting any younger and had been having fainting episodes when she got too excited. What happened was that Oscar had been sticking close to Nicky and having her usual wonderful time, Nicky came in from work, Oscar greeted her, wagging her tail and really pleased to see her, then swayed on her feet. Nicky and Gordon laid her on the floor, stroking her, and she simply went to sleep for good with friends she adored around her. Poor Nicky and Gordon then had to carry out my wishes which were to have her cremated and get rid of all her stuff. I think Jona has kept a couple of things, but I didn't want to as I'd find it too painful. It's hard enough being here at home seeing the chair she always sat on, etc.

We're alright, Jona and me, we're over the worst, the occasional sniffle of course, even now as I'm writing this my eyes are swimming but it'll go. Your kind comments helped us a lot. Thankyou again my dear friends.

On a more positive note, I've already been looking online at Bull Terrier breeders - yep, we're going to get another one. I want to call it Nancy, Jonas not too sure, and then I thought maybe some of you might have some ideas for a name. Feel free to make suggestions.

We're working hard on getting the photographs of the last gigs up on the site, sorry again about the delay but we will get there, and as I say, I'll be back on it in a couple of days. Thanks for your love and patience, Jona and Steve.

A few weeks ago we had a social gathering of the band and everyone else involved to sort out all the ins and outs but mainly to finalise what songs we’re going to do. By the way, thanks to all those who sent in ideas for the set- you weren’t far off!
After a night of serious discussion (with a few drinks thrown in too) we came up with the final decision, and rehearsals are starting now. I think we’ve managed to please everyone, at least we hope so.

The next morning we went down to the lifeboat station to take some photos, we got the band suited up and on the boat – unfortunately we couldn’t launch as the sea was too rough (like some people’s heads). We did however manage to get a couple of the band into the surf and experience the power of the North Sea; it wasn’t until we were actually in there that Gizz and Spike realised the waves were over our heads, and you’ll notice on one of the pictures a lifeline tied to one of us. At one point Spike was swept over and we had to get him on his feet as quickly as possible; when the waves are coming in like they did that day it’s like a brick wall hitting you and you’ll get out of breath really fast just trying to get to your feet, so you’ll notice the concern on my face (No.9) as we’re getting him up.

I was really chuffed that the band were up for it and that they could meet the crew of Sea Palling Independent Lifeboat. Everyone got on and we all had a right laugh.

Bloody brilliant day.

Now down to business – prep work on The Last Supper has started.

See you later,
Steve.